Baby B

I've named him/her Bailey. We knew this baby's name would begin with a "B," and Bailey is the only gender neutral name I came across.
You may recall me saying that my symptoms had been minimal. I never truly felt pregnant. And while I tried to reason it with being so early, it was actually a symptom of an ectopic pregnancy. My first true warning was Friday night. Intense cramping....like labor pains...for hours. But, it passed.  Lots of pressure all day Saturday. Bright red bleeding Sunday.
Ectopic pregnancy in my right fallopian tube.
Emergency surgery.
Almost a rupture.
I lost my tube.
I can bear the physical pain. I hate the way the painkillers make me feel anyway. But the grief...it's bad.
I grieve for Bailey. The ectopic is hard. It's not his fault he was in the wrong place.
I grieve for my tube. There's an 85-90% chance that I'll go on to have another successful pregnancy. But, it's still hard to lose a part of my womanhood.
Yet, I still have so much to be grateful for....
I have a healthy, beautiful baby girl. It was caught early. I had an excellent doctor and staff treat me with respect and care. My prognosis is good-full recovery, more babies.
Though I'm not grieving alone, it's not common knowledge either. I don't think I could handle the questions, explanations, pity right now. Those close to me have wrapped me so tight in love.  I'm blessed.